I read a quote from Andy Stanley today. "The TRUTH is that we are sinners, and the GRACE is that Christ does not condemn us. We are at our best when we embrace both truth AND grace and don't let go of either."
It was a great "put me in my place" moment to realize that the deep, deep love He has for me extends also to those who are difficult to love. He doesn't love me any more or any less than anyone else. He calls sin, sin, and then paid for it. And then extends grace and does not condemn us for the sin. Here is where the tension is for me. To live within the truth and grace. To know that the truth is that I am no better or no worse than the one I have the most trouble loving or forgiving. So often, I want to extend grace based upon circumstances or upon my feelings. I want to extend forgiveness when I feel it is justified, or when I feel it is deserved.
But Christ calls us to extend grace as He has extended grace. Freely, without question. It is in that tension that I am supposed to live, to be like Christ, to know the truth and still give the grace. I tend to lean heavy on the truth side, as if it justifies my hard feelings or actions. Imagine if Christ did that.
I have grown so much these last few months. I have seen Jesus be more to me than He ever has. I am trying to be more for Him than I ever have.
I remind myself of all that You've done, and the life I have because of Your Son...Love came down and rescued me..... Kari Jobe
Monday, April 23, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Introducing Deltoid Dustin
So last week, my friend and I were at the Y working out during Homeschool P.E. It was a Thursday, and we were doing our normal whine through the boring dreadmill or fake it till we made it on the evilliptical, then we went over to the Life Fitness machines. In our Y, these machines are the ones that are calibrated so that once you are a number on one of them, you are the same number on them all. I have no idea why I felt like you needed to know that. I digress. We were discussing the awkward squat machine and adapted it to a less awkward squat. Enter Deltoid Dustin (that may or may not be his real name) (he is a personal trainer). He is this young fella, extremely nice, respectful, angelic face, great teeth, arms of steel. He comes over to observes that we are incorrectly using the machine. We lament over how awkward it is, yada, yada, yada, all the while looking at the clock and being thankful that this conversation is ticking the minutes away. Then he says, "Why don't you go use the squat machine in the free weight section?
We look at each other, blink, and look at him. That section of the Wellness Center is ominous. Big guys are over there grunting and shooshing. Not to mention that there is an invisible wall that once you pass through, there is the smell of sweat. Big guy sweat. But against all logic, we follow him over, and try the squat machine, find that he does know what he is talking about because we really like it, and vow to use it from now on.
Then it happens. "Hey", he says, "next week I'll run you all through a circuit training." I perk up, "I love circuits!!" My friend looks at me like I have lost my mind. I continue: "That was my favorite thing to do when I was in Boot Camp class!!" He grins with those sparkling teeth and says, "Great!"
Fast forward to today. This morning I see him when he comes in the Y. He looks at me and says "Are you ready for me to kick your butt today?" Ummm, I don't think that was ever in the conversation. But the competitive me says, "Yeah, right. I can take it." When will I ever learn? Brandy and I enter the Wellness Center this afternoon, and there is the twinkling smile. I remind him that I could possibly be old enough to be his mother. From that point on, he proceeds to run us through what he called circuits, we called them painful. I am positive that he stopped the movement on the clock, because that hour felt like 3.
Not to mention we were in the ominous Free Weight section. For an hour we burpeed, mountain climbed, squatted, stair stepped, arm rowed, lunged, supermanned, push upped (pushed ups?) and some other forms of exercise with weights that this body had never fathomed to use, all with the grunting and shooshing big guys. Sweet mercy, were my arms burning. But it felt great! Although Brandy may never speak to me again. And Deltoid Dustin may or may not have said that we were great entertainment for his afternoon in the Wellness Center. And I informed him that what happens in the Wellness Center stays in the Wellness Center. Unless I decide to blog about it :)
We look at each other, blink, and look at him. That section of the Wellness Center is ominous. Big guys are over there grunting and shooshing. Not to mention that there is an invisible wall that once you pass through, there is the smell of sweat. Big guy sweat. But against all logic, we follow him over, and try the squat machine, find that he does know what he is talking about because we really like it, and vow to use it from now on.
Then it happens. "Hey", he says, "next week I'll run you all through a circuit training." I perk up, "I love circuits!!" My friend looks at me like I have lost my mind. I continue: "That was my favorite thing to do when I was in Boot Camp class!!" He grins with those sparkling teeth and says, "Great!"
Fast forward to today. This morning I see him when he comes in the Y. He looks at me and says "Are you ready for me to kick your butt today?" Ummm, I don't think that was ever in the conversation. But the competitive me says, "Yeah, right. I can take it." When will I ever learn? Brandy and I enter the Wellness Center this afternoon, and there is the twinkling smile. I remind him that I could possibly be old enough to be his mother. From that point on, he proceeds to run us through what he called circuits, we called them painful. I am positive that he stopped the movement on the clock, because that hour felt like 3.
Not to mention we were in the ominous Free Weight section. For an hour we burpeed, mountain climbed, squatted, stair stepped, arm rowed, lunged, supermanned, push upped (pushed ups?) and some other forms of exercise with weights that this body had never fathomed to use, all with the grunting and shooshing big guys. Sweet mercy, were my arms burning. But it felt great! Although Brandy may never speak to me again. And Deltoid Dustin may or may not have said that we were great entertainment for his afternoon in the Wellness Center. And I informed him that what happens in the Wellness Center stays in the Wellness Center. Unless I decide to blog about it :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
How I know our kids are our kids
Since I invited you to my pity party yesterday, I will share something a little lighter today. We have 2 kids, Noah who is 11 and Emma who is 8. Noah is the spitting image of his dad. Emma is the spitting image of me. While their features are gender matched, their personalities are cross matched. Noah is mine. He is content to be at home, with a book. He is more introverted and quiet. He has a specific order for things, and he likes them that way. Emma is Joel. She is a party waiting to happen. She is ready to go at a moments notice, even if she doesn't know where. She is definitely more extroverted and spunky. She is more free-spirited - let's just have fun and let the chips fall where they may. Here is another example. When I go to bed, the sheets and blankets have to be straight, with the sheet folded back over the quilt, so the quilt doesn't touch my face. When Joel goes to bed, he just gets in, wrinkled up sheets, blankets can be askew. He can be asleep before I even get in the bed. So, ponder this interaction last night. We were tucking the kids in, Joel was in Noah's room, and the sheets and blankets were all neat and orderly. Joel pulled them back for Noah to get in. Noah said "Dad!! You messed them up!! Now I have to fix them all over again!!" Then he goes to Emma's room, where she is already in bed, with the sheet hanging out, all wrinkled and askew, and her comforter in a big lump of waddedness on top. Joel came out laughing, acknowledging the fact that these are indeed our children.
I think it is amazing how the Lord knits all of this together. In His kindness and goodness, and also sense of humor, he takes 2 strangers, brings them together and then creates these tiny humans that, without any coaxing, take on the likenesses and characteristics of their parents. Simply amazing.
I think it is amazing how the Lord knits all of this together. In His kindness and goodness, and also sense of humor, he takes 2 strangers, brings them together and then creates these tiny humans that, without any coaxing, take on the likenesses and characteristics of their parents. Simply amazing.
Monday, January 23, 2012
There they sit. New people in your small group. It's like the elephant in the room. A little chit chat and banter before, the actual group where no one really talks, because - hey, there's new people. Then the after group. The time where crickets chirp, awkwardness reigns, and the new people just can't wait to get out, and frankly, the old timers are relieved that they can now carry on with their normal visiting with "their" people.
I am convinced that most churches in America have no idea what to do with new people. They think they are friendly, welcoming, relevant. After all, we have greeters at the door, pointing them to fellowship time with coffee and donuts, and the ever popular "everybody shake a hand" time in the service. I mean, who doesn't want to be jumped on upon entering like a fat kid with a happy meal, then be pointed to go eat with complete strangers, then stand while everyone else shakes the hand of everyone they already know, feeling even more alone than when they first walked in?
I would wager that most people, when going to a new church, are hurting and feel alone. And honestly, all churches in America seem to do is make it worse. In the eagerness to be 'friendly,' it only seems to make people feel even more conspicuous. In the effort to be 'all things to all people,' it only seems to make people wish they weren't those people. I don't know the answer. I don't know how to bridge the gap so that welcoming doesn't seem forced, and connectedness happens. All I know is that it sucks to be the one feeling alone.
I am convinced that most churches in America have no idea what to do with new people. They think they are friendly, welcoming, relevant. After all, we have greeters at the door, pointing them to fellowship time with coffee and donuts, and the ever popular "everybody shake a hand" time in the service. I mean, who doesn't want to be jumped on upon entering like a fat kid with a happy meal, then be pointed to go eat with complete strangers, then stand while everyone else shakes the hand of everyone they already know, feeling even more alone than when they first walked in?
I would wager that most people, when going to a new church, are hurting and feel alone. And honestly, all churches in America seem to do is make it worse. In the eagerness to be 'friendly,' it only seems to make people feel even more conspicuous. In the effort to be 'all things to all people,' it only seems to make people wish they weren't those people. I don't know the answer. I don't know how to bridge the gap so that welcoming doesn't seem forced, and connectedness happens. All I know is that it sucks to be the one feeling alone.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
McAllister's Deli and the gospel tract....
OK, without going into a lot of detail, I will tell you the story of how I became the recipient of a Roman Road to Salvation tract....
Last weekend, the recovering pastor and I were invited to a social gathering at a restaurant. I was iffy on going, but ultimately, we decided to go. All was well until we got to the restaurant and went back into the smallish room with the party of 14 (of which we were a part of) and another party of 14ish. Seated at our table were 2 couples that we knew and 4 we did not. I don't know what triggered it, but massive anxiety attack ensued after sitting down. Chest hurting, couldn't breath, felt very conspicuous, thought I was going to burst into tears at any minute. Being the fantastic man that he is, my husband decided we should leave. Yep, we had been there maybe 8 minutes. So, he made our sorry's to the hosts, and we took off. Immediately upon leaving the restaurant, I began to feel better. So we sat in the car for a bit, then decided that we had driven all the way to Champaign, let's try to make the best of it. So we wound up at McAllister's Deli - home of some of the best house wine of the south (sweet tea) there is. It was relatively quiet there, and we chose a table away from everybody. We began talking about what had happened, trying to process my feelings, and it all came out, the ugly cry. You know the one, where you really want to just wail, but you can't because of where you are, so you try to hold it in and just let it out little bits at a time. Then it happened. A young lady, perhaps in her early 20's, walked up to me, leaned over to me and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you are crying, and I just want you to know.....Jesus can help" and slipped a Roman Road to Salvation tract over to me, looked at me we these sorrowful eyes.
I just looked at her, unable at that moment to figure out what to say. Finally I muttered a 'thank you' as she walked off. My husband asked what she had given me. It was then that I looked at him and said "You have married the freak that has a breakdown in the middle of McAllister's Deli, and gets a gospel tract given to her. That is who you are married to!!" And then we both dissolved in laughter. And I don't think I will be going to McAllister's Deli any time soon.
Last weekend, the recovering pastor and I were invited to a social gathering at a restaurant. I was iffy on going, but ultimately, we decided to go. All was well until we got to the restaurant and went back into the smallish room with the party of 14 (of which we were a part of) and another party of 14ish. Seated at our table were 2 couples that we knew and 4 we did not. I don't know what triggered it, but massive anxiety attack ensued after sitting down. Chest hurting, couldn't breath, felt very conspicuous, thought I was going to burst into tears at any minute. Being the fantastic man that he is, my husband decided we should leave. Yep, we had been there maybe 8 minutes. So, he made our sorry's to the hosts, and we took off. Immediately upon leaving the restaurant, I began to feel better. So we sat in the car for a bit, then decided that we had driven all the way to Champaign, let's try to make the best of it. So we wound up at McAllister's Deli - home of some of the best house wine of the south (sweet tea) there is. It was relatively quiet there, and we chose a table away from everybody. We began talking about what had happened, trying to process my feelings, and it all came out, the ugly cry. You know the one, where you really want to just wail, but you can't because of where you are, so you try to hold it in and just let it out little bits at a time. Then it happened. A young lady, perhaps in her early 20's, walked up to me, leaned over to me and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you are crying, and I just want you to know.....Jesus can help" and slipped a Roman Road to Salvation tract over to me, looked at me we these sorrowful eyes.
I just looked at her, unable at that moment to figure out what to say. Finally I muttered a 'thank you' as she walked off. My husband asked what she had given me. It was then that I looked at him and said "You have married the freak that has a breakdown in the middle of McAllister's Deli, and gets a gospel tract given to her. That is who you are married to!!" And then we both dissolved in laughter. And I don't think I will be going to McAllister's Deli any time soon.
Monday, December 19, 2011
In all circumstances.....
...Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus..1Thess. 5:16 In the Message it reads...Thank God no matter what happens, this is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
I read this verse the other day and thought, UGH. Seriously? Give thanks no matter what happens? In all circumstances? Obviously He does not know what I am dealing with today. Then I notice that it doesn't say 'Give thanks FOR all circumstances,' or 'Thank God FOR what happens,' but IN all circumstances and NO MATTER WHAT happens.
See, we don't have to like what happens, and we certainly aren't going to like every circumstance that comes our way. I think sometimes as Christians we think that life is going to be all rainbows and cupcakes. That if God loves us, then why in the world did ____________ (insert issue) happen? Life is life. It is going to be great, and then just a quickly it can be bad. Sometimes our own choices bring things upon ourselves that wouldn't have happened if we had just trusted or sought the Lord. But life is life. It is all in how you respond to the stuff that matters.
And this is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. It is His will that we be thankful in all circumstances, no matter what happens. We don't have to like it, but we do need to choose to be thankful in it. It really is not an option. This is the way we are to live if we are choosing to be His children. Be thankful that we have a personal Savior who is more than willing to walk every step of the way with us. Be thankful that no matter what has happened, it is not a surprise to the Lord, and He already knows the steps we are to take, He already knows the way out. It may not be in the time frame that we want, or the exact way that we would choose, but He knows. All we need to do is trust Him and be thankful that we can.
I have a friend who walks closer to the Lord than anyone I know. He was recently diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. He embodies this verse. His facebook post after diagnosis was this:
In all circumstances, give thanks.
I read this verse the other day and thought, UGH. Seriously? Give thanks no matter what happens? In all circumstances? Obviously He does not know what I am dealing with today. Then I notice that it doesn't say 'Give thanks FOR all circumstances,' or 'Thank God FOR what happens,' but IN all circumstances and NO MATTER WHAT happens.
See, we don't have to like what happens, and we certainly aren't going to like every circumstance that comes our way. I think sometimes as Christians we think that life is going to be all rainbows and cupcakes. That if God loves us, then why in the world did ____________ (insert issue) happen? Life is life. It is going to be great, and then just a quickly it can be bad. Sometimes our own choices bring things upon ourselves that wouldn't have happened if we had just trusted or sought the Lord. But life is life. It is all in how you respond to the stuff that matters.
And this is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. It is His will that we be thankful in all circumstances, no matter what happens. We don't have to like it, but we do need to choose to be thankful in it. It really is not an option. This is the way we are to live if we are choosing to be His children. Be thankful that we have a personal Savior who is more than willing to walk every step of the way with us. Be thankful that no matter what has happened, it is not a surprise to the Lord, and He already knows the steps we are to take, He already knows the way out. It may not be in the time frame that we want, or the exact way that we would choose, but He knows. All we need to do is trust Him and be thankful that we can.
I have a friend who walks closer to the Lord than anyone I know. He was recently diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. He embodies this verse. His facebook post after diagnosis was this:
He is fighting the cancer, yet incredibly thankful for his position in life. If he lives, he lives longer with his wife, his kids and his grandchildren. He gets to share Christ with teenagers in the Myrtle Beach area, seeing them come to that point in their life where they trust Jesus like John trusts Jesus. If he dies, He gets to live with Jesus.
In all circumstances, give thanks.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Overwhelmed
The Grinch. That is who I usually identify with at this time of year. I usually feel rushed, busy, overwhelmed. However, this year it is the opposite. I am feeling very festive, fully experiencing every part of this season. I am enjoying the Christmas songs, I am loving the lights, our tree was up a week before Christmas., celebrating the Advent with my family this year has been new and fresh. I am still overwhelmed, but a completely different kind of overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed at the fact that Jesus came to this earth as a baby. I am overwhelmed that He lived on this earth, and faced highs and lows just like me. I am overwhelmed that He chose to give Himself up on the cross to redeem me - the one who fails Him often. I am overwhelmed that I can talk with Him whenever I want to, and that He listens and cares. I am overwhelmed that He did all of this, just for me. Just to walk this season of life with me. Just to make Himself known to me in such a special way. Just to overwhelm me with who He is.
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