I admit it. I am a second guesser. I over-think everything. I cannot make a decision to save my life. So true to form, I was talking with my husband (the recovering pastor) about a decision we had made which I was second guessing. Was it the right one? Was it the best for our kids? Did we give the other choices a fair shake? Finally he stopped me and said that I just needed to be settled. We are employed, released from ministry, in a good church, have friends, our family is happy. I need to just trust - not wish for what was or what could be - but just be grateful for what we have and what the Lord has done.
He is right. I am not sure why I feel that way sometimes. Then it hit me. For the last 20 years we have been in the position of always needing to strive for the next thing - never really being able to just sit and be content or happy with where we were or where the church was. There was always something - the next sermon series, the next program, the 'now that we have this, how do we get to this', the 'this didn't work, let's figure out why and correct it'. There was always something.
So here we are. The Lord has hugely and amazingly shown up - and we are able to just sit and rest - and be content and grateful.